Friday | October 12, 2007

the story set in stone

The last letter I sent you didnt seem to make sense in my head 
it took on a vision I was unclear about in my life

after taking the time away from my thoughts I have noticed my words linning the covers of my head
strangling my questions which disvole underneath
the despair I set next to me while sitting alone in the outside air

after singing out a phrase I composed in my head
it is clear to me why I miss the words once said by you
Why I need to spread my body across the floor inorder to reach the opening in the door
as a tint of sun light reaches my hand I can not find the soul to reach for your body 

my heart lays still, struggling to cope with the conditions in which I am living under
it seems at this moment I notice something different about that smile across your face

as I cut of the the last phrase I pronuce to you, I have already left the room
creating time to lay upon a threshold so open to the world
what is this going to be tommrow 
the beginning or ending of a love story



Posted by No parents at 02:09:37 | Permanent Link | Comments (32) |

Monday | October 08, 2007

looking through time

I waited through the beats I found in your music. The reverb of my actions I have been playing inside my head. Those places I have travled to which can not hide from my present. The living day of words where I can find myself trapped inside those past places. Maybe at the time I feel it break, I finally realize the day I have wasted. Turning around to look up at my decisions, I am finally awake. Open to a night where I can remeber nothing but the actions I have created. This day is almost over and I am left to find where I may lay. Its getting later by the time I spend racing around steps I can not reach. So thats for saying something today. Cause without it, I can't seem to move away from the past hour. I only start to feel your here when I remeber your gone. And I can only imagine what its like to spend time with the one I care for. Maybe it will make a difference when your gone. Cause I wont have time to come back to you. And it will be to late to explain this to you. 

Im always to late to live out the present moment
Posted by No parents at 18:32:21 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Saturday | October 06, 2007

It only gets alitte bit better

Sometimes I feel two steps away from my final word but I have written nothing about the end. I just need a little help to start me off on writing my last sentence…

 

What basic knowledge will I use, to start off from the beginning, what little lie will last until the end of these words.

 

I only thought about the first line or two

I never dreamt about what this would come to

Cause I’m standing clearly in the way of what has become of this day

I need to break away from the thoughts put inside my head

Ill take a day, away from us all

Just to say how hard it will be to fall back into another day

 

One day outside these four walls leads my mind into an empty time

A space where I can see it all, where there is clearly an end

 

Maybe ill die passing by the memories of this day.

 

Maybe ill sing a song about you, dance around your name but put that I love you

 

Maybe ill take this day to start off right, so in the end I can be the best fight. 

Posted by No parents at 12:49:49 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Friday | July 13, 2007

The Chicago Red eye

 

Jenni Spinner writes articles for Red eye chicago every week. In today's article she made some jokes about how great it is to be apart of the gay community. Now, I am in love that she actually has a very postive outlook on the gay community.

 My problem is, why isnt she writing about anything ground breaking? Past articles include topics about porn, hooking up, and sex. I'm sure the rest of the world loves to know that the lgbt community wants to read about porn and sex. She has a good point, speaking about topics related to the lgbt community but her articles are just not fierce!

 

Posted by No parents at 20:03:01 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

when love is the only word that comes to mind

I dont know where to begin, how to say the feelings I have for this situation. How to take out the yelling and screaming and hold back the crying. I have no clue how to tell you that I dont want this to be over. I dont know what to say that will make you want to come around. Its not that I regret the situation, its just your not doing enough to make it better. I am sorry I need so much from you, the one I usually have nothing to say to. But, here I stand alone with the many loved ones who say they care. Because those who love you the most never know what is killing you inside. This fear that lives within my heart may never look away from the facts I find relevant to tie up a little closure. To take this day and place it in a box marked "lost love", and let it sit by my door untill you come by and carry it away. Taking more than just a box with you, I hope you have a hard time finding the words that were put aside just so I could give you the room you needed. The time that was for us to grow apart and still hope that one day all the mis leading lies may be put in a box and forgotten about, just for one day. Because you dont know how much this connection lead to my interior destruction of all the ways I use to love. But it also lead to the path of love that was created for you. The way I say and feel these emotions that seem to touch gently upon each and everyday. The soft whispers of endless memories and broken love songs that pass through this endless daze.  oh what a world I love to be in when you are not with me. How the letters that seem to ever come break me into phrases of poetry. Of romantic novels filled with nothing but someone elses day. and the fact is you never left my heart because I control of own emotions. and you must have nothing more to say.

Posted by No parents at 19:23:27 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Wednesday | July 11, 2007

I am having lunch with my unaccepting mother tommorow afternoon....

Carrying on a conversation will be easy if I stay within netural ground. I will ask about the extended family and family events. Then move on to talking about my day life, which will be very basic. And finally wrap it up with leading her on that I have a date that night...little does she know it is with my boyfriend.

Looking straight for mom

1. dont wear the white flip flops, or the white belt....nothing white

2. look clean and fresh....(no collar popping)

3. leave the jewlery wearing to mom

4. wear the baggy pants not the booty pants

Posted by No parents at 02:19:57 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |